Stay Important My Friends!

Some words to live by in the new year:

It's important to be nice when you have to be, but it's even nicer for people to know you're important.

This is a lesson I learned the hard way. When my last ex wouldn't accept my level of manly as a gift to her and our kids, she was forgetting this cardinal rule. I had the all the "nice" for her she needed, and it should've been enough to show her how "important" I was to her. The girls I was seeing behind her back got even more "nice" because they were important to me. She complained, of course, but I had to give her this explanation of reality repeatedly, letting her see how ignorant she was, and still is (I sometimes have to keep reminding her, AND let her know I point it out to our son). I hope she trains our daughter better, but that's not really my department. My obligation is to my little man. He already gets the ladies, because I make sure he understands the "nice"/ "important" relationship.

It's important that people are nice to me.

It's nice when people realize how important I am.

As the New Year approaches, be planning for where you can be seen, who you will be with, and how you can stroke that man image.

Christmas Manly!

     Men! No...I'm not talkin to you, Christmas Sally, sippin cocoa with your lady and tucking your kids in...I mean YOU, football fan! Yes, you-out workin your Saturday night game in some local bar, trying to score the next gullible chick you can show off to your pre-teen son and rub in your ex-wife's face when your telling her how many of your problems are her fault. Now that I have your attention...Merry Christmas!

     It's been a while since I've written, I know. Things have been busy while I've tried to chase down my next big promotion. I'm pretty sure my ex wife has been screwing my plans over, because I know I'm impressive all the way around (especially to the women around me), and still no call-backs. Still, I keep at it, and let my son know how his mom is royally screwing him and me out of the man stuff that the world owes us.
 
      But being a man means persevering, and knowing that the world respects you for being manly. As a matter of fact, I just went to a weekend workshop, and didn't bother going to any of the waste-of-my-time classes, because I'm already smarter than all of them. Besides, I'm going to be their boss when I get promoted, so why learn the worker bee stuff? I just went to the nighttime fun bar stuff, did some networking and worked the lady-game. I have a couple guys around me who tell me I should be more careful. I shouldn't use work as my own personal lady farm, or use so much of my time riding my ex's case over phone, text and email. Especially when I tell her straight up what I think of her and what I hope happens to her. They swear that in a relatively small town, and in a profession where everybody in the county knows everyone else: people will know. They even try to tell me that my own behavior could be the root cause of all my problems, and that I'm setting a bad example for my son. Guess what? I think they are just jealous. They are nerds. They don't have my cool, and never will. My Christmas present to me, and all of you will be to stay awesome my friends! So hook me up and tell me how the season is treating you.

Wow...summer is almost over! Just because there is less daylight and lower temperatures, though, doesn't mean the manly meter has to dip...straighten that back, stick out that chin and put the manly gleam back in your eye. Take a minute to share your recent feats of manliness!

Here's a message I got from someone who wants to be a man, he's just not sure how to do it in the situation he's in. Let's see if there's any help for him:

Alex, I need some advice on how to be more of a man.I have taken the normal manly steps, but I've been at it for like three years and I'm not sure I've gotten any more manly. Here's what I have done:

1) I hooked up with some girls from work.

2) I left my wife and kids to be a pretend bachelor for a summer
3) I gave her a reasonable deadline to let me come home
4) I let her know she is only hurting the children by not giving me my way
5) I tell her all the ways she does not measure up to all the ladies I try to hook up with.
6) I email and text her all the time to let her know how not letting me do what I want, when I want with the kids makes her look like a colossal unreasonable loser and how she is possibly missing out on the best man and father ever.
7) I have told her how, when someone at her work sees my many,many horrible emails about her, they will know the truth about her and how she refused to let the best guy ever have his way. 

I think she is just stung by the pain of my rejection, because everyone I know tells me how great I am. Does she not see it because there's something wrong with her? Will she ever come around?

Thanks for you help- Minnesota Man

This is my response, but any other ideas might help. That's what makes us men!

Minnesota,

You have been very busy! In fact, you are so busy, and trying so hard, that you appear to be more like a needy,whiny, resentful man-boy. I'm not saying that to be mean, but when you get stuck on that mouse-wheel you will never be happy. You will always look for someone else, or something more (like a higher position at work-not because you want it, but because you can't play well with others and would raher just try and be their boss).When something isn't working, you try something else. Focus on actually BEING more awesome, not pretending to be, or just telling everyone how awesome you are.

Summer coming brings to mind some of the best parts about being a man. It means more time at the sports bar with my other truly awesome man friends. Now they may not be quite as awesome as me (don't tell them, they wouldn't agree), but we all live by the same basic man principals:

1) Make sure wives know that the kids need to come first for them. Whether you are still the master of their domain, or out on the prowl (or both!), they would rather be taking care of the kids anyway. So get the kids once in a while, when you have to, and get them ESPECIALLY when it enhances your awesomeness. By this I mean when it makes you look like a responsible guy and a great father to others-especially a new lady. The ladies dig a guy who appears to be a great dad.

2) Control the schedule. Agreed upon visitation schedules, vacation plans, restraining orders...these things are formalities that restrain the realities of people who are either ladies, or men that should be ladies. You know-not awesome. Show up when you want or don't, if a last minute chance to work on a new girlfriend comes up OR if you find out your ex is trying to take a chance to "have some time for herself" to do something-that's when it's time to remind her that fun and freedom are benefits of manhood. Demand time when YOU want-not when the courts say, cancel when the ex seems to be forgetting her role or when the kids might cramp your style.

3) Try to keep up appearances. Kids have summers off from school, and your friends will know this. Be seen with your sons in public at a park or game once in a while, especially if the girl you're scoping will be there. It'll make everyone around see how awesome you are, and what a fool your ex was for letting a stud like you go! If you have girls you can be seen with them if you want, or just tell people you've done something nice for your daughters. That'll make you look good, and you can say your ex wouldn't let you have the time you're supposed to have (or something).

Stay manly my friends!

The Best Occupations for Men of Power

      You know, I was thinking-something I'm incredibly good at, because I'm a real man. And I got to wondering if I could possibly be more influential-you know, spread my word and knowledge to make the world a better place.There are some manly occupations, but the mission for us men should be to improve the world if possible, and do it by helping women and children see our greatness. If we have to actually remind them over and over, then that's our duty. Showing up on time, doing what we say we will, being respectful-all that is well and good, but real men do and tell. Seeking acceptance is a woman thing, and they are happiest when a telling and doing man accepts them. This is one of the problems I had with my first ex: she failed to seek my acceptance and it ultimately led to her unhappiness. The girl she caught me with understood this.
      Those quiet, traditional man jobs are very self-fulfilling, but they do little to spread the blessing of men and their clear, logical rightness. What should men do to make the world a better place? How can their women support them?

The Greatness of Men

It's a daily struggle, getting the recognition us men deserve for the the great things we do. Often we get exactly the opposite, resistance to our clarity and logic. The important thing is (and always is) knowing we are right. You can't argue with the evidence that shows we are right. Part of the evidence is we are men-that just makes us right. The rest is cumulative. Over time our consistence and persistence just makes us right. My two ex-wives and the last girlfriend I have know this,although they won't admit it. Even as I was moving out of my last girlfriend's apartment for some silly girl thing she brought on herself, she knew I was right and didn't realize that the ladies I work with all knew it more than her. My kids know I'm right-at least my sons do. After long months of telling them how foolish their mothers are, they are finally starting to see the light. I'm pretty sure my daughter understands her father is right, but I don't really talk to her that much. I usually have her stay with a neighbor or someone on my weekends while I take the boys out. In the long run, the ex wives, girlfriends and children come to see that strong men are the center of their universe and need to be clung to and agreed with. Without them, they wouldn't be ex-wives and girlfriends, and the children wouldn't be here. In a way, they owe their existence to men, and should be grateful. The men who come here to this forum come to share their thoughts, ask questions, get answers, and just a little recognition for how awesome men are.